Episode 1 (Final) - You're Not Lost, You're Being Called to More
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Welcome to the Starlit Success Podcast. I am your host, Jessica Gaines, and you are listening or watching episode number one. And I wanna talk about why I started this podcast. The main reason is. I got to a point in my life where I felt like there had to be more. I'm sure some of you can relate, you know, you wake up, you go to work, you come home, you do the dishes, you walk the dog, you do the laundry, you take kids to practice, or you go to whatever it is you do in your spare time. And you go to sleep you wake up and you do it all over again. And it just got to a point where there had to be more.
I can't live life on [00:01:00] this cycle of rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
I've had this feeling a few times in my life, but a few years ago, I remember when it was extremely intense. And I just couldn't shake it. I was driving to work. I had just started a new job and I was only there maybe a few months. And I actually, I really liked it. The culture was great.
The people were awesome. The office was really cool and up to date, it was brand new renovation. But there was just something missing that something just felt off. I didn't feel aligned with it for whatever reason, I couldn't really put my finger on it. And at the time I thought it was because of the actual line of work that it was like, I thought it was because it was an it.
And I wasn't really feeling the it, I was an IT project manager, and I thought it was more so like the IT field because the field or the industry was newer to me. [00:02:00] And now looking back, I realize that really wasn't what it was. I've discovered a lot along the way and I've realized that feeling was pushing me into this direction of helping people.
. I was on my way to work. I was on the phone with my mom and I remember I was wearing the company's like they give apparel out to all their employees and that was actually another nice perk. They dressed us very well. But all of the apparel had the name of the company, which was the owner's last name, and I remember wearing one of the new shirts with his name on my shirt.
And all of a sudden I just felt like I was fulfilling his dream and not my own. And that never hit me before. I've worn work shirts before with, you know, the work name on it and whatnot, but I've never worn something with like an actual person's name. You know, it was a company name, but this was [00:03:00] his actual last name.
And I remember feeling like. Why am I helping fulfill someone else's dream? This is his dream. He's following his dreams. He is, he's living his life. He is doing what he came here to do. Why am I here helping him? And, and no disrespect, the company was great, but why can't I do that? And it just got my wheels spinning. What could I do? What am I here for? I felt like this a few times in my life. And like I said, this time it was extremely intense. But then I thought to myself like, why do I keep feeling like this?
Like I said, I was on the phone with my mom and I called her every day on the way to work. I, I still do most days. And I remember sharing this feeling with her and I'm like, mom, I, something's off. I don't feel right. This isn't me. I don't wanna do this anymore. And she [00:04:00] asked me the question of what was it?
She said what do you love? And I'm like. Gosh, I don't know. I mean, I love all the things that you think that you should love. You know, you love your family. You love spending time with 'em. You love your friends, but I'm like, how can I turn that into something that I can do full time? Um, and I actually, that reminds me, when I interviewed for that job.
I was asked during the interview, what do you love about project management? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. No one's ever asked me that before. It's not something that I ever intentionally set out to do. It's just kind of where I ended up. I mean, I obviously was good at it, otherwise I wouldn't have been in that field for as long as I have been.
[00:05:00] But what do I love about it? Why am I doing it? And she threw me a curve ball when she asked me that question, but it was such a good question. And now here my mom is asking me the same thing. What do you love? And I remember at the time when I was asked in the interview. What do I love about project management?
, put me on the spot in front of this whole panel of people, and I realized that I loved being able to unify different departments, different personalities to achieve a goal. And now in, in hindsight, looking back. It is similar to what I wanna do now except I wanna help people achieve their goals.
So while the projects I was managing to me, yes, I was doing it as a job it was challenging but it wasn't something that gave me a sense of purpose. [00:06:00] it didn't light me up. And I've realized now over the last few years, and really digging deep into personal development and mindset and manifestation and spiritual principles, that you can really do whatever you want to do.
You just have to set your mind to it and. I wanna show others that they can do the same. Whatever goals you have in your life are completely achievable and possible if you just set your mind to them. And I know that sounds cliche and I just, I always think about when, when you talk to little kids and like you can do anything you put your mind to and it's like, okay, yeah.
But no you, you, you actually can I'm just now getting it but it takes a lot of work and a lot of shedding what I would consider limiting beliefs or society's [00:07:00] programming and a lot of that you don't even realize you have so many people aren't even aware that they're putting themselves in a box.
They don't realize that becoming aware of yourself and your situation and what you actually want in life is just the first step. So while I was able to manage projects , and get them across the finish line. There's a lot of moving parts and different people involved and different dates and maybe there was even products or whatever it was that I had to manage.
I was able to get them there. I was always successful at it. And now I wanna help you figure out what that is for you. What does that mean for you? Maybe you're [00:08:00] not even necessarily unhappy. I wouldn't ever consider myself unhappy. I have, and I had even at the time, loving husband. A beautiful home.
I have two boys. Um, An adorable little doggy. A nice neighborhood. Wonderful family. My parents are super supportive, a strong group of friends, but it was just this inner feeling of something missing and it what it, what do I do with that? I didn't, I had no idea where to start.
So I just, I, this is what I started doing. I started listening to podcasts. I started listening to podcasts. I started reading books and I just really dove deep and started doing a lot of internal work to just figure [00:09:00] out. What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why am I feeling this way? And it made me feel a little bit lost, to be honest.
I feel like , you have to go through something like that to get on the other side. I'm actually really thankful for that now because, had I, never felt like that. I would just keep living in the same. The same reality that I had and nothing would've changed. I had to feel that emptiness.
I had to feel that internal struggle to lead me to where I am now. I have learned so much over the past few years, and I just feel so compelled to share what I've learned and what I continue to learn. I'm never stop learning to just help you go through if you're going through what I've gone through and just help build a life on your own terms.
So I think what happened was, , I was living up to. Society's expectations. [00:10:00] There's this idea of what a successful life looks like and it's, , if you're from where I'm from maybe it's different from where you are. But mine is, , you go to school, you get a good job, you raise a family, and you live happily ever after.
And. A lot of my friends or people I hung around with, there was like this kind of like unwritten rule where, you know, you had to be married by 30. , I would even have friends that would make jokes or like a informal pact with their guy, best friend if we're still single when we're 30, let's marry each other.
And. Is that even what you want? I mean, I feel like so many people go through life not even really having a clear definition of what they want. They just follow what society expects of them. And I think I was doing the same. And on top of that, I didn't really have a direction. I didn't really know [00:11:00] exactly what I wanted to do to be able to take those steps.
I'll use the word drifted. Life was happening to me, and then I would just react accordingly. And in my eyes at that time and for so many years, I felt successful. I had a good job, I had a happy marriage. I had a happy and healthy family.
Why do I want anything more? it made me feel like, am I being greedy? That I want more? This isn't enough, but if you have that feeling, you owe it to yourself. That is now what I've learned. That is your higher self speaking to you. My higher self was like, no.
Jess, you're meant for more than this. Wake up time to wake up now. Time to start following your calling and you gotta figure that out. Which I did. [00:12:00] So I started asking myself, , how did I even get here? , I never, like I said, I never really tuned into. What it was that I wanted out of life.
I was just settling for what was comfortable and I guess what came easy, so to back it up a little bit I think what really triggered this was I was at a job for close to 10 years and I was really happy there. Coworkers were awesome. I loved my boss. I loved what I did. At that time I was, I was still in project management, but I was in software, so this was prior to the IT project management and things were good.
My kids were younger at that time. So I was probably a little distracted with them raising them. I think, most moms can relate to raising young kids and how much of a full-time job that really is. So I didn't really think about myself too much and [00:13:00] what I truly wanted out of life that was, that was giving me that purpose.
But what happened was then , our company was sold to a giant. Private equity firm or giant conglomerate that were just eating up these little companies and they didn't care about the people. They wanted the company, they wanted the revenue, the customers that came with it.
And we were, just a byproduct of the sale. And they ended up cutting probably half of our staff. And I was, at the time what I felt, I felt like I was one of the lucky ones that I was kept on and looking back, I'm like, was I lucky? Because I was pretty miserable. For that. Maybe a year and a half.
I was pretty miserable after we were sold and everything changed. I mean, the whole culture changed. Everyone was just on edge. We looked at numbers every week and what people were [00:14:00] producing and billable hours, and that's all they cared about. There was no culture anymore, and it was so disconnected.
We had people all over the globe. I'm working with people I've never talked to before. They're in completely different time zones. I'm managing projects that I have no idea what I'm managing. I don't know if any of you project managers can relate out there, but it's really hard to manage something that you have no idea about and you have no idea what's involved or what needs to happen or when, and people aren't responding to It was pretty stressful.
So I, I started looking very. Just casually I wasn't applying to anything. I was just looking around just what else is out there? There's gotta be something else out there. And that is when a when a former, not a coworker, but she was actually a customer of the company that just got bought where I was the software project manager.
Now she was the. A [00:15:00] VP of operations at this new company and she reached out and asked if I was interested in talking. And of course I was. And the interesting part of this is that I didn't apply for anything. And I'll, I'll get to this in future episodes, but this is kind of where that whole manifestation plays a part.
I didn't actually apply. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was manifesting this new reality. Okay. And I just remembered at the company that took over. So the company that I was miserable at, they required all of the project managers take this project management certification course.
I thought, oh, okay, this is great. I'll get certified in project management now and I'll make more money. 'cause they were promising I think like a 20% increase for anyone that completed this certification. So I remember going on these walks with my dog and I would [00:16:00] visualize what I would do with that money when I was done with the certification.
What could I do with 20% more every month? And I'd walk my dog and I would, I would picture it and I had no idea what I was doing at this time. I had no idea that I was visualizing, which is a huge part of manifestation. But I would, I would visualize this money in my bank account, and think about all the ways it would help my family and improve the quality of our lives.
Then I get this message out of the blue from this previous colleague offering an opportunity for a project management position in a completely different industry, which at the time sounded really exciting. I could break into a whole new industry. It is booming like this could be great for me. Yes, let's do it.
So after final negotiations. I end up making 20% more than I was [00:17:00] at the previous job. I realized in that moment that it was just, it was that energy that I was putting out there. I didn't really want that project management certification. I wanted what it could do for me. So fast forward, I accept the new job.
I'm there for a few months. You heard my story about, I'm feeling super empty after a few months, and I'm right back to really where I was. What am I doing? I'm not happy again. So now this is job number two in the course of, I don't know, a couple years that I'm unhappy with again. What do I do? I start throwing lines out there, I guess.
I did start looking informally. I didn't officially apply, but I would talk to people and I was in communication with a previous boss that was at the software company that I was really happy at. Turns out he's at this new company [00:18:00] and there is potentially an opportunity for me. Okay. We were just casually texting here and there, and in the meantime my sister-in-law said that they were hiring.
Okay. Do an interview there. Nothing happened, which that was fine. Moving on. To another opportunity and it was a nightmare. That interview was a complete nightmare. Couldn't have gone worse. They were actually a, for a private equity firm that's whole job was buying up small companies, which obviously, you know what I had just gone through and I was not trying to help a company like that.
I just got to this point where I was like, God, this is not. This isn't working. Like it felt so forced. Again what am I doing? Like I'm just jumping from job to job searching for something more. So I had heard about the law of detachment. Again, [00:19:00] that's something that , I'll cover in future episodes, but I've learned about the LO detachment and when something feels forced, just let it go.
Kind of like that saying where if you love something, you let it go, and if it comes back to you, it's yours forever, . So I'm like I'm done. I'm not looking anymore. I'm not reaching out to any more people. I'm over it. Something's gonna give eventually and I'll just I'll deal with it when it comes.
And I stopped. I got off everything literally the next day. That old boss from that previous software company reached out and was like, do you wanna have lunch? And I'm like, hallelujah. Here we go. Absolutely, let's do this. So have a couple meetings. The job is five minutes from my house. It's back into software.
It's out of it. It's a small company, which of course I love. And actually there's a couple other people that had gone there from that previous software company, if you're following me. So I was very [00:20:00] familiar with a few people already, which made me feel, more at home, I guess, because there's that little piece of culture that I was missing and life was good again.
Okay. I'm back on track and I'm there for maybe, six months or so, learning the ropes. And the idea was for me to lead a project management team. They didn't have project management. I was going to help implement project management with all of my experience, which, how exciting is that?
You know, I'm not gonna be a project manager anymore. I'm gonna mentor new project managers and show them everything I've learned and all of the different processes that have helped me. And it just, it brought me so much fulfillment and joy to then be able to mentor this new group and elevate some new talent.
And I put together this whole plan with the help of my [00:21:00] boss and another leader. We spent a lot of time on this. And then we were all really excited about what it would do. After that discovered, the owner did not wanna move forward with it, um, which was a blow. Um, He did not feel like it was necessary and he chose to continue business as usual without project management.
So here I was back to that same feeling of what am I here for? What am I supposed to do? So I. Still diving deep into my personal development, listening to my podcasts, reading my books, and I really started heavily getting into meditating. And one day I'm in the basement and my husband is at his, he's got a studio, a music studio set up.
[00:22:00] He's a music producer. He's been doing this for 20 years. So he is down there doing his thing. You know, that's the thing that lights him up, and I love that for him. He is, he's never given up on it, although he's never pursued it professionally. This is just something that he's always done as a hobby, and I truly believe that It was the meditations , that I had been doing and all of the work on myself, I heard this voice that said.
Help Eddie with his music. So this light bulb went on and I'm like, oh my God, I'm a project manager. Why? Why have I not helped him with his music career? He's never really asked me and it's never really been something. That he is pursued heavily as far as to make a career out of it of course he's always wanted [00:23:00] to, but he's never really pursued it.
And I'm like, gosh, this is something that I could help him with. I am extremely resourceful. I'm great at setting goals. I'm great at task management. I'm great at research. Like I could actually do this, after a few months of digging in and helping him and trying different things and getting on Spotify and, recording some social media posts and , I don't know, it felt a little stagnant and I'm like what's going on here?
Let's just sit down. And I asked him the question , what do you want, what do you want to do with your music? And I think so many people. Don't ask themselves that question. What do you want? A lot of people don't even pay attention to what they want. They just go through life as I did, as he did, as many of you probably are doing.
And he said, [00:24:00] I want my music in TV and film. Oh, okay. You never said that before. I didn't know I had to ask that question to get that out of him. I was off to the races. I'm like, you want your music in TV and film? Honey, you're getting your music in TV and film. Okay what do I need to do? Alright now I'm now I'm shifting.
Now I'm out of my personal development and I'm onto what's called, it's called Think Licensing. So I'm diving deep into syn licensing podcast and books. Joining groups and attending webinars, and I'm learning everything I can about syn licensing. Find him artists to work with. Now he's got artists he's working with.
He's making songs with them. I mean, it was such a rewarding experience to see this man. Oh, I get chills talking about it. To see this [00:25:00] man doing something that he's loved for 20 years, this light. That shined from him to actually consider pursuing it full time where he might be able to get paid for it. It was like he had A new aura, a new pep in his step.
We bonded so heavily through that experience with me helping him. Now he's got. Close to a dozen songs with multiple agencies and he now has that belief in himself. Yes, you can do it. Yes, you're good enough. Yes, your music is top-notch and people wanna hear it. You can do it.
It was all him. It was all his talent. All of his hard work, but I was able to help lift him up and foster that belief and help motivate [00:26:00] him in that direction and kind of just show him what he needed and guide him and provide him with the necessary resources and put him in touch with the right people.
And now he's following his dream, like actively, like daily basis. And then later I'm like, why can't I do that for more people? If I could do that for him, I could do that for anyone. And if I could just show people, if I could show you what it is about you, that is so unique. That the world needs to see and needs to hear, or maybe there's a passion that you have that you never thought that you could really pursue full time.
I wanna help you find that. I wanna help you foster that and nurture it and help it grow. And there's a lot of steps that I've gone through to, to get to where I am now. [00:27:00] I'm not gonna lie, this right here was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Putting my face on a camera and just talking was like I, I don't know what people are gonna think of me, or what, what if they, what if they say, you know, she doesn't know what she's talking about or, or who does she think she is?
And I'm like, get over yourself. You know what? Who cares? Who cares if I can help you? If I can help? Another family member, another friend to me that's worth it. And that's all I really care about. So I wanna just remind you that you are limitless. You truly are so unique, and you probably have a talent that you don't even see.
You don't even see it within yourself because it just comes so [00:28:00] easy to you. I myself never thought that there was anything special about me. My husband, he's super talented in music. My son is super talented at basketball and that's been his passion
but he's learning that he's got many more talents. My 12-year-old son he's also multi-talented, but I think two young to really hone in on what it is he really wants to focus on. So he's just trying everything, which I also encourage but. It's about tuning into who you are, what you want, and what makes you different.
What makes you stand out from the rest? What can you do better than someone else? And not in from a competition standpoint, but God, I have so many friends that are so. freaking talented in their own [00:29:00] way. Whether it's. They're hilarious, and they could be a freaking comedian tomorrow if they wanted to.
Whether it's, you know, them being an amazing cook or extremely good at doing hair, or maybe they're excellent at remembering statistics and analyzing things. I realized myself that I'm actually really in tune with people. And I'm really in touch with the deeper side of the human mind and emotional intelligence.
And I never considered that to be a skill or a talent because to me it was just normal. And now that I'm getting older and have been in so many different experiences and situations and different friendships and. i'm seeing that is what makes me different and I want to help others figure that out for [00:30:00] themselves.
And also just remind you that you were here for so much more than just going to work every day. And if your goal isn't to pursue something bigger than your nine to five, but you just want. To feel more fulfilled, I wanna help you do that. I believe everybody has,, hidden talents and this higher purpose that they were put here on earth for, and I feel like that's what truly helps you live a happy and fulfilled life.
I actually just saw a statistic that. Only 44% of people are very happy with their lives, 44%. So if I'm doing my math correctly, that means 56% of people [00:31:00] are not happy with their life. What is wrong with that? That's like mind blowing to me. I don't know what is life expectancy now?
I think it's, I don't know, it's 77. In my experience, it seems to be like mid eighties., So I'm 42 at the time of this recording. If I live until I'm 80 plus, that's another lifetime. So no matter where you are in life, , you're never gonna be younger than today, than this moment.
Why not pursue something that lights you up and fulfills you and gets you excited about life? , How many people do you know are excited on a Monday morning? The majority of people I know dread Monday mornings, like everybody's living for the weekend or living for their vacation. , They need something to look forward to in order to be happy.
What if you have that every day? What if you could wake up and be like, oh my God, this is my life. I did [00:32:00] that. I created it. And you can. It's just a matter of understanding where you are, what you want, and then just taking steps every single day to get there. So my mission really is, I just wanna remind you that you are infinite potential.
Help you remember what it is. That you were born to do and help you connect with your highest self and inspire you to go after your dreams and just live a life of passion and purpose and freedom. Who wants to live feeling , tied down to a job that they can't stand or. Or whatever it is in life that's, that feels heavy and that's holding you back.
I wanna help you break free from that. Most people wanna become millionaires and, have a big fancy house. Everybody wants to become rich, [00:33:00] but to me, rich is relative and success is personal.
So it's a, it's about defining success and what it is for you. What is your dream life? What matters to you the most? What fills you up ? So I just have learned so much over these past few years and I just felt this calling to share this message with the world, you know,, and it's really what you can expect in future episodes.
I'm gonna talk a lot about all the mindset shifts that have led me into where I am now. All of the different spiritual principles that I've applied . We'll also dive into astrology, which has been such a.
A major guide for me in leading me towards this path. . And the ways that you can reprogram your subconscious mind to go after. Your dream life and what you really want. So if any of this resonates with you, please stick [00:34:00] around.
This is just the beginning. So in upcoming episodes, we'll dive deeper into discovering your purpose, reprogramming those limiting beliefs that are holding you back that you probably don't even know that you have, and just creating a life that lights you up. So thank you for spending your time with me today.
I appreciate your energy and I really look forward to seeing you on future episodes.
