Episode 8 (Final) - 4 Signs You're Living On Autopilot and How to Break Free
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welcome to the Starlit Success Podcast, I am your host, Jessica Gaines. And today I'm actually really excited about this episode. I like all the episodes. Obviously I resonate with all of them, otherwise I wouldn't be talking about them. But today I feel like this topic so many people can relate to and so many people struggle with.
And that is the feeling of just like living on autopilot. Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions? You know, like one day is just running right into the next, like you're just reliving the same day over and over again.
There's actually a term now for that called Groundhogs Day. Like you feel like you're living Groundhogs Day. And For younger people you might not exactly know where that came from, but there was a movie with Bill Murray about living the same day over and over [00:01:00] again.
Like every single day he wakes up. Everything is exactly the same. It's Groundhogs Day all over again. All of the exact same events happen every single day to the point where he feels like he's going crazy. And I think a lot of us can relate to that. You know, where you feel like nothing is changing. If your life was a TV channel, you would be scrambling for the remote trying to change the channel because you're so fricking bored.
So today I wanna talk about what that looks like, why that happened, and what to do about it. Okay, so the Groundhogs Day effects. So what is your Groundhogs Day look like? Okay, my Groundhogs day means I wake up, have my coffee. I don't really do a lot in the morning. My, my husband is usually the morning guy and I'm, I'm the evening girl, so he kind of serves me in the morning, which is kind of nice. So he brings me my coffee, he makes breakfast.
We, you know, talk to the kids, get them off to school. [00:02:00] And then depending on the day, I'm either going into the office or I'm working from home you know, have meetings or whatnot. If I'm in the office, I come home and walk the dog. If I'm at home, I walk the dog after work, I make dinner, I'm doing laundry.
I am probably running the younger son to practice. Maybe I'm running errands. , Whatever it is, right? And for the most part, a lot of the time, your day is pretty similar from day to day, right? So it's kind of like your life is on repeat, like you're on this, this hamster wheel, You're doing the same things over and over again. I feel like I've felt like this a few times. I think I've mentioned this before,
Where you kinda look at your life and you're like, is this it?
I remember a friend and I got together, I don't know, it might have been like a Sunday night or a weeknight or something like that. And it was kind of like this. Depressing. Goodbye. It was like, huh, well I guess the fun is over. It's back to reality tomorrow. And I remember her [00:03:00] saying like, is this it? Is this all there is to life?
And I was like, why is it like this? Why do we do the same shit every day over and over? And that's all there is. Like we just get up and we go to work and we come home and we run errands, or we do chores and we go to sleep and we wake up and we do it all over again. And then you find yourself only excited for the weekends. So there are a few symptoms you can pay attention to to find out are you living on autopilot? Are you living Groundhogs Day? I'm gonna go through those now.
So symptom number one, your life is on repeat. You have the same routine every single day. You're living that Groundhogs Day, right?
Symptom number two you find yourself only being excited for the weekends or for your annual vacation. Hopefully you get one of those. After being more conscious to the fact that this is, this is a thing and I'm not the only one feeling this [00:04:00] way, I've noticed that there's actually a lot of songs like music that speak to this feeling. And one of the songs is, I'm sure you have had to heard this song before. It's a classic. Everybody's working for the weekend.
Excuse me, singing, but you know, music is emotion and most songwriters or singers write songs that speak to how they're feeling and the fact that there's so many songs that have lyrics that speak to working for the weekend. Or wasn't there another one like 9 2, 5 something? I can't think of a song, but there's a lot of songs with these lyrics in there.
It's like we all feel like this, like we all feel like we're just getting through the day just to get to the weekend or get to the vacation. And I think the reason that we feel like that is because. Most days, there's really nothing in your day that is new. There's nothing that's really interesting or [00:05:00] exciting.
Not much changes from one day to the next because you have this like, regular routine that you're going through,
or maybe you don't have a lot to look forward to on a day-to-day basis because you're, you're just kind of stuck in that routine. You're doing the same things that you, you have to do. You know, you have to go to work, you have to take care of your kids, you've gotta make dinner, you've got to eat, you've gotta take care of your pets, whatever, whatever it is, right?
It's the same things every day.
Because of that, this kind of leads to symptom number three, which is feeling like you're more relieved when the day is over versus when it actually begins. And I think this is why a lot of people hate Monday mornings because they just know, or maybe maybe more than Monday mornings, maybe you hate every day of the work week, but for the most part it's Monday mornings, in my experience at least, because you know. Not only do you have that day that you have to get through, that you have to do all of the things that you have to do.
Not necessarily what you [00:06:00] want to do,
There's a whole week of that ahead and then it's not just that day. And then as the week goes on, you start to feel a little bit better 'cause you're getting closer to Friday.
And I think that's because you're in like this survival mode. Or maybe you're in like a performance mode where you have to put on this persona and.
Maybe you're doing work that isn't fully aligned with what you wanna do, or you just have to meet a lot of expectations or fulfill a bunch of responsibilities that don't truly align with who you are and what you actually wanna be doing with your life.
And you're repeating this daily life this daily routine, but you didn't consciously choose it. You just kind of ended up here. Maybe you're not necessarily unhappy, or maybe you don't even dread Mondays necessarily, but maybe you're just kind of like indifferent or you're just bored or disconnected. But either way, you're not excited. Like I can't [00:07:00] tell you how many times, you know, you talk to someone on a Monday and you're like, oh, good morning, how are you?
And then you hear someone and they're like it's Monday, or it's Tuesday. Or just trying to get through the week. Like people are in survival mode. Like they sound miserable. And then you talk to people on a Friday and they're like, happy Friday, what do you got going on for the weekend? Any big plans.
And everyone's mood and tone changes because it's like, oh, we got through all of the hard shit, all of the heavy shit, all of the stuff that we don't wanna do, and now we're free.
And why do we feel free? Because now we have time that is ours. You get like this little sliver of life that is actually yours Now we get to decide how we spend our time, what we do, what we wanna give our energy to. It's now our decision versus having to fill all of these other responsibilities.
And I'm not saying that you don't have responsibilities on the weekends, but for the most part, the [00:08:00] bulk of it the harder, the heavier stuff is throughout the week.
But I think what most people do, and I am 100% guilty of this, which this leads us into symptom number four, which is because you get that time back now. So now maybe it's an evening after you've worked, after you've done all of your errands, , after you've done all of your chores, or it is Friday or the weekend where all of that stuff has been done throughout the week and now you, you have time to yourself.
We then tend to look for distractions. And you think that now I have time, now I'm gonna do something that I wanna do. But instead you just you think it's what you wanna do, but really it's just a distraction from. The unfulfillment or the fact that you're not living the life that you actually planned.
So you'll probably, and I've, I was guilty of this, you binge Netflix shows or movies or whatever [00:09:00] on tv you might doom scroll. I know a lot of people are guilty of this. I know I've been guilty of this, where it's like you just constantly are like looking for something funny or entertaining or just the next dopamine hit that's gonna make you feel good and distract you from your reality.
Maybe you shop, you could be an online shopper or go to the actual stores, Like that feeling of something new and exciting, like you're looking for things to make you happy. Maybe it is planning a vacation. Uh, who doesn't like planning a vacation? I love planning vacations, but again, , it's something to look forward to, but it's also a distraction from the life that you're not truly happy with or that you're not truly fulfilled with.
So, while that's okay, and I'm not saying anything's wrong with that, but if you're not happy with your day-to-day as it is, then it's probably better that you do something about that rather than just distract yourself from it entirely because Monday's gonna come and you're gonna be right back [00:10:00] where you started.
And it doesn't even have to be like, you don't have to be looking for something that is. Making you happy necessarily like planning a vacation or shopping or doom scrolling or whatever it is. But some people can fall into a negative distraction too. So this could be, turning to alcohol or drugs.
And again, I'm not saying that you can't, have a few drinks on the weekend or anything, but some. People don't know their limits and want to completely numb themselves. maybe it is looking for some kind of conflict, and not intentionally, but subconsciously because you're looking for something to make you feel alive.
It's that distraction from that mundane, monotonous, repetitive life that you're just, you don't even realize that you're doing it, but it's something that makes you feel energized and it doesn't necessarily have to be a good thing. It could be infidelity. Maybe you're looking for that adrenaline rush and that gives you [00:11:00] a rush. If you think about it, all of these things are temporary. When that TV series is over, you're just gonna be looking for the next one. When you reach the end of TikTok or Instagram or whatever, however much you're scrolling, you're just going to go back to feeling how you did before.
Planning a new vacation. That is probably my favorite thing to do. But even when you're done with that and the vacation's over, then it's like you're right back to where you started shopping conflict, whatever, whatever it is you're seeking outside of you, it's temporary,
It's not going to fix the feeling of boredom with life.
And like I said, you don't necessarily have to be unhappy, but maybe you just feel like stagnant or bored or disconnected but that's not a good feeling either. Nobody wants to feel bored with life, but at the same time, it's a familiar feeling. That's a saying. Uh, I know the devil I got, I don't know the devil. I'm gonna get like, you, you know this life, it's [00:12:00] comfortable and it's safe.
It might be boring, but because it's safe, nothing really changes. Maybe you have like this, it could be worse mentality. Like, oh, there's nothing really wrong with my life. Life, you know, I've got a comfortable home, or I've got a comfortable job. my family is good. But it's not exciting
it's not really how you would have pictured your life. And maybe it's not what you would've designed if it was all up to you, but it is up to you. You can make changes. And if you are feeling bored or just stuck, the main reason is because nothing new is happening. Maybe you don't have any challenges maybe you have dreams or goals, but you're not actively pursuing them, or maybe you just don't have them at all.
Your brain needs activity. It wants to have something to do. And humans are creative. We're creative beings. We want action. We wanna do things. If you don't have any dreams or [00:13:00] goals, or if you have dreams and goals, but you're not pursuing them, life becomes like this endless loop instead of an adventure. Because if you have something like that you're going for, then it's kind of like having that vacation, like you have something to look forward to, you have something to do, your brain has something to work on.
I'm sure you've heard that saying an idol mind is a devil's playground because it has to fill that space with something. So if you're not giving it any kind of direction or, or any job to do, it's going to create things for you.
That's kind of when those negative thoughts creep in, or intrusive thoughts, or like I said earlier, maybe you start pursuing things that aren't the healthiest for you.
Because you're not in control, you're not giving your mind any kind of direction, so it starts to run the show.
I know you are not your mind, so you are in control of your mind. But if [00:14:00] you don't take control, then your mind will. And I think a lot of people think that you and your mind are one, but if that was the case, then why do so many people struggle with negative thoughts? They don't want them, right? They just don't have any control over them, but you do.
That's a whole nother episode. But the moral of this little tangent here is to give your mind something to do.
Another reason that you're probably feeling this way is you probably have succumbed to society's expectations of what is normal or what is expected of you. So you likely have gone through life like I have doing the things that most people do, You go to school, you get a job, you get married, you have kids.
Maybe you didn't get married, maybe you didn't have kids, but you probably have a job. But you weren't really intentional about it. You ended up just kind of going through the motions, and then you [00:15:00] realized. Is this where I wanted to be like years later, kind of like where I am now? Like is this exactly where I wanted to be?
Or was I just kind of just surviving? I was just getting through the day. I was just doing what I thought I needed to do, but in so many words, I was reacting instead of planning, instead of being proactive, instead of starting from the end goal and working backwards, I was just reacting day to day, whatever came at me.
That's how I responded. And I think a lot of people do that, you don't actually think about. Where do I wanna be in 10 years? You might get asked that question in an interview, but how many of us really sit down and say, okay, where do I wanna be in 10 years? What do I wanna be doing? How do I want my finances to look?
How do I want my life to look? I don't know many people that do that. I don't even know many people that plan their day, plan their year, plan their budget. A lot of people just don't plan. They just [00:16:00] react. They just go through the motions.
And that is what I had mentioned about drifting. When you don't have any certain expectations, you don't have a specific destination of where you wanna be, you just get a lot of uncertainty. You just get hit with whatever comes your way. You're on that boat just kind of like drifting, and then you land on some remote island and 10 years later you're like, wait a minute, did I wanna be here?
Or was I trying to go over there? I don't know. How did I get here?
Or maybe you. Followed a path. Maybe you thought you wanted this thing or this job, or this certain destination, but it wasn't truly what you wanted. You did it because it was suggested. It was encouraged, it was the right thing. It was the career, the title, the salary it was the status. It was something else that you were striving for without truly aligning it to what you wanted because you didn't know what you wanted.
So now you're out of [00:17:00] alignment. You have a good life, but it's not really where you wanna be. It's not lighting you up in any kind of way, and at the end of the day, you don't really feel like you're making an impact on the world. That's where I am. So I have a great life. I have a good job. I have a great family.
I have a beautiful home. I really have no complaints other than the fact of I don't feel like what I'm doing is meaningful. Like I don't feel like I'm changing the world in any way, or I'm leaving any kind of legacy. Now I do with what I'm doing now, but before this I just felt like, what is the point?
Yes, I'm helping my coworkers and I get along with them and we have fun at work, and other people might feel like what I'm doing has an impact, but I don't. And that's what's important to me, is how I feel. Yes, it may impact the business, but is it impacting the world in the way that I want to?
And the answer is no for me. [00:18:00] Studies actually show that 90% of our daily life runs on autopilot. Our brain is conditioned to learn through repetition. So if we're not changing anything about our behavior, then our brain isn't really changing in any way. So if you think about driving a car or taking a shower, we'll use driving a car or any kind of like meaningless, mindless task.
Now, if you think about it, these tasks are more. Robotic like, because you have conditioned your brain through repetition how to do these things. So if you think about when you first learned how to drive, you had to consciously think about everything you were doing, right? You had to think about, okay, I need to look in the mirrors now.
I need to put it in the right gear. I need to check, the side of me, behind me. I need to make sure I'm paying attention. I need to know where the windshield wiper is. I need to know where my blinker is. , I need to, like, You're just, you're consciously thinking about every little move that you have to [00:19:00] make in order to drive driving after a few years.
Now it's like you can, you probably shouldn't, but I know a lot of people do. You can talk on the phone. Let's say you have Bluetooth speaker in your car. You can talk on the phone in your car. You can have a conversation with someone, you can change the radio. You're like a robot.
You just know how to do it. driving now it's no longer a conscious thought. You're no longer consciously thinking of everything that you're doing when you're driving.
Because now it's your, it's your body's memory of the actions that you've done so many times.
And think about when you first learned how to drive, right? It was exciting to drive. It was a challenge. Like you were learning how to do it. Not only that, but then you had freedom. Now like, okay, now I can actually get in the car and go somewhere. So you had this independence, you had this sense of adventure.
Now it's like I can decide what I'm gonna do or where I'm gonna go. I don't have to react to if someone's available to take me somewhere or just [00:20:00] go wherever the next person is going. I can decide, right? And maybe your daily life doesn't have that. Maybe you don't have any sense of challenge, any freedom, any adventure.
Maybe you don't have any kind of like creative outlet to express yourself.
You need some sense of like unknown or new challenges, new experiences. In order to make your daily life fulfilling. This is why vacations are so satisfying, because there's this anticipation of the unknown, of the adventure, of the freedom. And then you're, you're spending the time planning it, which a lot of times, vacations take some time to plan.
So during that planning process, your life feels lighter and brighter because you've got this vacation to look forward to, right? You're taking the necessary steps to make it happen, and you know you're gonna have fun. It's gonna be a great time. You're gonna just be able to disconnect and do whatever you wanna do for a few days.
So during that time, life [00:21:00] feels good. And then when that's over, then it's like you go back into the ru,
but at the same time, picture yourself. Going on vacation. And let's say instead of like a week, which is a typical time for people to go on vacation, let's say you're on vacation for a month, And let's say that first week is when you plan all of like the excursions or whatnot. Let's say you're, I don't know, I usually go to tropical places.
So there's always like, party boats and parasailing and different kind of adventures through nature or what have you. But let's say you get all of that done in the first week and then the rest of the month all you do is you stay on the resort and you get up every day and you go to the buffet and you go to the beach.
Or maybe you do like a, like a water aerobics class or something, but maybe you start doing the same thing every day.
I can guarantee you you're gonna be ready to go home. . If you are on vacation and you're doing the same shit every [00:22:00] day and you don't have anything exciting you or challenging you or anything new to experience, you're going to be bored.
And the same is with life. If you just keep doing the same shit over and over and over again and you don't change anything, and you don't bring anything new into your life, you're gonna feel like this. You're gonna feel like you're just living ground honks day like you're on autopilot. Think about playing monopoly.
So you're sitting down. You are rolling the dice and you're just moving that little piece around and around the board, and you're passing go and you're collecting your $200. , Maybe you pick some cards, Maybe you go to jail,
But let's say you never buy any properties, You just keep moving your pieces and reacting to wherever you land, but you don't buy anything. , You don't make any intentional decisions to win the game.
So you are just circling the same squares. You're going around and around and around, and you're passing go, and you're collecting your $200 and you're watching everyone else buy properties, [00:23:00] build houses on them, build hotels on them.
They're being intentional, they're building their life, and you're just reacting.
So they start to collect rent,? Because now you're landing on their properties. So now you gotta pay them. They keep getting richer because they were intentional. They were trying to build something, but you just stay exactly where you started, and you're probably gonna end up being broke because you chose not to actually be intentional about the way you're playing the game.
That's what life looks like when you don't have any creative outlets. When you don't have any dreams, when you don't have any goals, you're just going around and around and around, and you're not changing anything, you're not being intentional with the way you wanna live your life.
Think about a video game. This is another good example. So let's say you're playing a game and most games you have to pass one level to get to the next one. Or a lot of games are like that I haven't played games in a long time, but the games that I used to play, you had to like get through a level, beat that level, and then get to the next level.
And then [00:24:00] usually in that level there's a bunch of challenges. There's like a bunch of things that you have to avoid or you have to collect tokens or coins, or you have to get superpowers or whatever it is. And then you get to the end of the level, and then you have to beat like some kind of villain, right?
The game wouldn't be that fun if there wasn't another level. Okay? If you just played that level over and over and over again, you would be like, this is so boring. I already know what to do. I, I've beat all the challenges, I've collected all the coins. I've beat that villain. And then it's like, okay, now you're gonna play that again.
No, no. There's another level now. Now there's a new set of challenges. There's another villain to beat. That's why they're fun. But it's gotta be challenging and fun. It can't just be nothing but challenges, ? You've gotta have some fun along the way. That's how life is, ? Life should be a mixture of enjoying yourself and challenging yourself.
I heard this once and [00:25:00] I love it. If you were watching your life on a movie screen, what would you be screaming at your character to do? So, if you're looking at yourself and you're watching your life play out, what would you want yourself to do? What would you be like? Just try this. Do this. Go here.
Change that. Quit that job. End that relationship. Go on that vacation.
What would you want your character to try or to explore?
What is it that you would change? But the awesome thing is you can,
so you have to shift your mindset from thinking that life is happening to you and realizing that you can design it. You are in control.
Stop saying, oh, this is just how things are. This is just my life. No, no. It doesn't have to be like that. How do you want your life to look?
What changes would you [00:26:00] make if your success was guaranteed, if your happiness was guaranteed, if your fulfillment was guaranteed, what would you do? But that's actually real life. You can have whatever it is you want. You are in the driver's seat.
Start being intentional with your time, with your choices, with your decisions. Every day you have decisions to make. You have tiny little choices that you can make, what you're gonna eat, how you respond to someone, what you say yes to, how you focus your time.
Start thinking about how you want these things to look instead of just mindlessly reacting to everything
and then interrupt the. Repetitive cycle that you're in, shake up that monotony a little bit so you can start like super small. If you take the same route every day to work or to school or wherever you go,, take a different route. If you're going to Starbucks every [00:27:00] day or you're going to like a certain place to eat order something different.
Instead of a coffee, try a matcha, try a different flavor. Instead of ordering that same dish, order something different. instead of scrolling every single night before bed, maybe you give yourself a time limit. Now maybe you're like, okay, I'm gonna give myself 15 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever it is.
And then after that, I'm gonna read a book or I'm gonna journal, or I'm gonna do some yoga. Something just different.
When you shake up your routine or you just disrupt it just a little bit, that actually wakes up your brain and reminds you that you are in charge. You break that robotic like nature of that body memory of routine where your body is just going through the motions and then you remember like, oh wait, no, I can change this.
I actually have control.
And then when you make these little shifts, they signal to your subconscious to start being aware
To start paying attention.
And another thing, slow [00:28:00] down, be still, create some space for yourself to just reflect
Living on autopilot is like hand in hand with busyness. So have you ever been like going and going and going and going, and then you're like, wait, where did I put my phone? Why am I in this room? What am I doing? How did I get here? Because you're just, you're moving too fast. You're constantly thinking, you are constantly in like overdrive. You don't have time to really be aware to what's happening or what's going on if you're always focused on just the next thing that you have to do and you don't allow any space to just be still,
again, you're distracting yourself. So think of like when you're driving versus. Being a passenger. So I love being a passenger princess. My husband will tell you, he primarily drives when we're together. [00:29:00] And don't get me wrong, I'm a great passenger princess. I don't tell him at wa. Maybe I do tell him how to drive.
I try not to tell him how to drive, but sometimes I have opinions, but I love to just like look out the window. I love observing what's going on around me or what's going around us. You know, I catch the deer that's in the park or I catch, a really bright full moon, I'll stare up at the sky into the stars.
If it's at night, I catch these things because I'm not driving.
I'm not. Having to get somewhere, I can just sit back and observe. So if you have a chance,
be the observer. So spend some time in the morning. I like to do it in the morning and at night. As I'm waking up, I like to just kind of lay in bed and just. Be quiet. I try to just quiet my mind. At night I just try to be quiet. Leave some time for yourself. Stop trying to fill your day so much, and then stop trying to always distract yourself too. Have some time where you can just be alone and just be present.
And the [00:30:00] fact that you're even watching or listening to this episode tells me that you are likely living on autopilot. You felt like that at one point. You know of someone who's living like this appreciate the fact that you're actually aware of it. So many people live like this and they don't even realize there's anything wrong.
They don't ever get that feeling of like, I don't like this. I wanna make a change. They just keep doing it like forever and ever see it as a signal as I am ready for something more, like it is time to align with what I actually want.
I've mentioned this before, emotions are your internal GPS. So if you're feeling like something is wrong with this, like you can't keep feeling like living on autopilot, or you can't keep feeling like you're living this hamster wheel, this groundhogs day, and you wanna make a change, pay attention to that.
I believe your higher self is speaking to you and it's saying this isn't what you're meant for. Otherwise it wouldn't feel [00:31:00] uncomfortable. When you feel uncomfortable, it means you're out of alignment and it's time to make a change.
So when you start to live with more awareness and more intention, you stop feeling like days run one right into the next, and the fog starts to clear a little bit, and then you wake up knowing what matters and why you're doing it. When you feel like your life has purpose, there's this energy that you get from it. You know, your days start to feel brighter and lighter you start to feel more alive. Instead of feeling like you're in this survival mode,
you're no longer just feeling like, oh, I just gotta get through this day because you're actually doing something about it. You're starting to create a life that you want, that you design that lights you up.
You get like this spark for life because you realize that you're finally moving towards something that you really want.
And then when you take this action, you start to build confidence and you start to feel more powerful because you're like, shit, I can do this. I am [00:32:00] consciously deciding what changes I wanna make and I'm going to align my actions with them. So now you realize like, I'm in control I'm not just like this bystander watching what's happening.
I am deciding where I'm going.
And when you're present and you're not like zoned out anymore, you're not like in this fog and in this like robotic like state, you start to feel better about yourself. You start to show up more fully. You are naturally happier. And then others see this and they feed off of this. And then you connect better with people because you're, you're more aligned with what you wanna be doing and with who you truly are, and other people see that.
So when you're happier, that naturally impacts your relationships.
That's with your loved ones, with your friends, with your coworkers. You know when you're happy and you're fulfilled, that naturally just oozes out of you. You know, you can't even control it. And then what does that do? Other [00:33:00] people feed off of that You're helping other people too. Gotta help yourself first,
and then you, you stop chasing things outside of you to make you happy, because you are realizing what you really want. That fulfills you.
What makes you feel alive?
And when you have that it's like this steady sense of fulfillment and joy because now you know what you wanna do, you're being intentional, you know what fills you up. You have like this foundation of joy and purpose instead of looking externally for like these little bursts of happiness.
And when you become more aware of what you actually want in life and you start tuning into that. You start to notice opportunities that you probably would've missed when you were living your life on autopilot. So I'm not sure if you've ever heard of the term or the phrase or the idea, whatever it's called, the red car theory.
So it's basically, if I were to ask [00:34:00] you how many red cars did you see on your way to work today or on the road to wherever you were going today, if you were to ask me that, I would say, I have no idea. Now, if you were to say, tell me how many red cars you see on your way to work, well now you're conscious to it.
Now you're looking for it. Now you're paying attention. So the same goes for your life when you aren't conscious to what you want or what. You truly value what is important to you, what you wanna get out of life, what your goals and your dreams and your aspirations are. When you don't know that, or you aren't actively pursuing that, you don't really know when opportunities pass you by.
You're not conscious to opportunities when they come up because your, your radar's not on, you're not looking for it.
But when you're tuned in, then you start to pay attention. Then you're like, Ooh, you overhear something, and you're like, oh, that's a really good idea. I should follow [00:35:00] that, I should incorporate that somehow, or, you know, maybe there's a, a coincidence. I know a lot of people think they're a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences.
I feel like things are synchronicities and you start to notice things like that. Oh, that's so weird. I was just talking to this person about this topic and then I turn on this podcast not knowing that that's what they were gonna talk about. And then they talk about it. Maybe I should follow that.
Maybe there's something here.
Ever since I became more aware of what I wanted out of life. I swear synchronicity has happened to me all the time, like crazy stuff. And now that I'm aware, I'm like love that. Totally doing that. Or Yep, I'm gonna follow that. I'm gonna enroll in that.
I'm gonna buy that, I'm gonna go there. Like I know now that my intention and my conscious thought and what I want out of life wants me. So now by me taking action and taking the steps to [00:36:00] actually put that in motion, it's meeting me where I am. It's helping me.
You're probably thinking, okay, that's all. Well, good and fine, but what if I don't know what I want? Right? I was, I was you. I did not know what I wanted. I just knew what I didn't want. And you can start there. You can start with being aware to what part of your life feels boring, feels heavy, feels off, feels disconnected, and start to identify what specifically about it do you not want, or you don't have to know specifically what you want in the sense of like, this is my goal. You don't have to have like a specific goal, but by knowing what you don't want, it should help you know what you do want in the sense of your values. So, for example, myself, I knew that I didn't wanna just feel like an [00:37:00] extra in a movie.
Like, you know, you, you watch a movie and you've got the main character, maybe the supporting characters, and then you have like the extras. So the extras are the people just like in the background. Maybe they're walking down the street, maybe they're in a restaurant, they're just passers by, they're just there to fill the scene to make it appear more real. And I started to feel like I was just an extra in a movie where I'm just, I'm just there. You know? I'm not really making any kind of impact on the world. I don't have like a plot or a storyline. I want it to be the main character of my movie so that when someone is watching, for example, when you're watching a movie, what makes a really good movie?
It's some kind of message. They usually overcome some kind of challenge. You connect with the character in some way. No one's paying attention to the extras because. They don't really serve a purpose other than just filling the [00:38:00] screen. So my why or my values were, I wanted to make a difference in the world, and I feel like
yes, raising my kids gives me a ton of purpose. , But now I'm at a point where my kids are older and they don't depend on me as much anymore. And I think that has kind of woken me up to be like, what impact do I wanna make? I wanted to feel like I was making a difference, not just for myself, but for the world and for those closest to me.
And I want everyone to feel that way. I want everyone to feel like the main character in the movie and not just an extra passing by.
So ask yourself, what is really important to me in life? Is it emotional connection? Is it being creative? Is it adventure? Is it freedom? What feelings do you want more of in your life?
[00:39:00] So try to get really clear on what it is that you want in the sense of not, I wanna have a a six figure salary or, or whatnot. Maybe that is what you want, but figure out why. What will that give you? Whatever it is that you want, what is the feeling that you are looking for that that is going to provide?
Because it's not necessarily the job or the money or whatever it is that you think you want, it's what it's giving you.
And I've realized that what is really important to me is having a sense of purpose. That's more important than anything.
So think of a way that you can challenge yourself. That's also fun. So like the video game example, what is something that you could do that you could take action on? That would also align with your values. So if health is important to you, would it be starting a new fitness routine or, starting to train for a marathon?
[00:40:00] creative is important to you, could it be enrolling in some kind of class that helps you with whatever that creative outlet is?
Experiment with different things. See what is fun, what gives you a sense of joy and that gives you like a sense of a challenge. it's not necessarily easy, but easy things aren't always fun.
So for me, I tried a bunch of things and I'm not saying like the first one or two or three things for you might stick. I tried a bunch of things that didn't work, but I finally found something that did. And for me, this is a huge challenge for me. Like, this is not easy . I love talking about this stuff and I love teaching people the ways that they can improve their life, but it's work, I have to spend a lot of time.
Planning for these episodes. I have a hard time just like going off the dome. Like I can't just talk off the top of my head. , There's no [00:41:00] way I would go off on so many tangents and you would be like, what are you trying to say? So for me, and that's, you'll see me, I still look at my notes, like I have notes for every single episode so that I don't sound like a babbling idiot.
But this is a challenge for me. , But it's also fun. Like I love learning about this stuff. I love researching it. I love reading books. I love learning. I've always considered myself a student of life and I'm like, gee, how? Interesting that I have paired now my love for learning with my purpose.
So now I feel like I'm helping people, but I'm also challenging myself and having fun. So I have now finally figured it out that I have been able to pair my passion with my purpose, and that gives me so much joy.
But it took years of trying things and figuring it out to get here.
So experiment. Just treat it as an experiment. , If [00:42:00] one thing doesn't work, try the next thing. And keep trying. Don't give up. You'll find it as you start to try things, you'll realize what you didn't like about it, and then you realize what you did like about it, and then you look for more of that. And then you just keep down that path.
Another thing you can try is in addition to challenging yourself with something fun, if like lacking a sense of purpose is a challenge for you or what's feeling like meaningless in your life. , This is one of the ways I started is being of service. What is something that maybe someone else is struggling with that you could help?
Or what is something that you have struggled with, that you have overcome and you've learned about that now you could help someone else going through that same experience?
I truly believe that. I've talked about this in past episodes, but challenges and obstacles and all that are designed for you for a reason. There was a reason that you face [00:43:00] that because not everyone has the same challenges, right? We all have really unique things that we have to get through, and I think that's part of our life's journey.
So if you went through something, how could you help someone else get through it? What could you teach them that you wish you would have known and that's part of what I'm doing now. You know, I really, really struggled with having a sense of purpose, especially with my kids getting older and realizing they don't need me as much anymore.
Like, how can I make an impact on the world? And because I struggle with my purpose so much, that's why I wanna help other people figure out what theirs is. And these are just some of the steps that you can take to get there.
And again, just create that time for yourself. Get quiet, slow down. Start to become more self-aware.
I thought meditating was so woo woo. I just thought it was like these people just sitting there like, Hmm, right. and it doesn't have to be like that. Like I meditate every day. Okay, let me take that back. I don't do it every day. There are days that I [00:44:00] miss, but when I do it, it's not, I, people don't even know I'm doing it.
You know? It's usually when I wake up in the morning, I'm still laying in bed, so it looks like I'm sleeping, but I'm not. I'm awake, my eyes are closed, and I just clear my mind. And then at night, same thing when I'm laying in bed, close your eyes. Clear your mind.
So the more you can clear your mind and be still and be quiet, that awakens your intuition. And your subconscious. This is getting a little woo I don't wanna take you off too much of a tangent, but that is connected to infinite intelligence to God, to a higher power to source.
So when you are able to clear your mind and you're tapping in to that collective consciousness, that frequency, your intuition is always trying to guide you to the life that you are meant to live. But if you always have like .
The static and this busyness, [00:45:00] it's like It's messing with the signal. You're like blocking the signal. So by getting quiet and being still, you open that line of communication and you're able to make things happen a lot quicker. You're able to get a lot more clear on your next step. So when I started meditating, that's when I got that idea to help my husband with his music.
And that's then what led me on this path to help others follow their dreams. So it wasn't until I started meditating that that came through and my husband has been doing music for 20 years. I never got that message before. I was just so blocked off. I was unaware.
I wasn't tapped in. I was just going through life unconscious. But the minute I started to pay attention, it was like I told you, it was that voice in my head. It was like, help Eddie with his music. And I'm like, oh shit. I'm finally getting these downloads now, and you [00:46:00] can too. So figured out how to be quiet.
Be quiet. Okay. Okay. I'm sure this went way longer than I expected. I have a tendency of doing that. So if any of this hit home for you, if you feel like, yes, this is me. This is exactly what I'm going through, follow me, subscribe, share this with others. If you feel like other people need to hear it, that is what helps other people find this podcast.
And if this really sparked something in you, leave a review. Tag me, hit me up, ask me some questions. I wanna hear what you resonated with, what you've experienced, what hit home for you. Tell me what you wanna hear more of. I would love to hear it.
And until we meet again, I hope to see you on future episodes.
Sunshine.
