EP37 What If You're Not Too Late To Start? You're Just Finally Ready
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[00:00:00] You're like the stars in outer space. Something about you radiates. And it feels so nice, and it feels so nice, yeah
So if you're someone who has thought about trying something new, maybe making a big change
but you've talked yourself out of it because you think you're too old, then this episode is for you
Why do we think that getting older means that it's too late to start something?
It drives me a little crazy and honestly makes me a little bit sad when people don't wanna celebrate their birthday because it's just another year or they feel old
and I believe the reason a lot of people don't wanna celebrate their birthday or getting older is because we automatically associate getting older with things like wrinkles and aging or disability
All the ugly, scary, bad things that can happen when you get older
But why don't we associate getting older with all of the good things that come with age?
I've said it countless times, like I love getting older
I [00:01:00] feel like with each year I have gained things that I never had when I was younger
things like wisdom, experience, clarity, confidence
I feel like I finally know what the hell I want out of life and who the hell I am
And I can now be an inspiration to others to feel the same
I also feel like the older I get, the higher quality life I live
And to me, that's what life is all about
Have you ever heard the saying, " It's not about the years in your life, but it's about the life in your years"? And that's really what that is saying. It's quality over quantity
And I look at it like this. If someone were to say, " I can guarantee that you will live to 110 years old, but you're gonna end up sitting in a rocking chair and you're just gonna stare out the window all day. , Or if I say you could live to 85, do some epic shit, make a ton of money, make some amazing memories with your family, travel the world, like which one would you choose?
So really what [00:02:00] matters is the life in your years, not the years in your life
So if what really matters is the life in your years and not the years in your life then why would we waste the time that we do have because we're worried about the time that's already passed?
And what if the age that you think is holding you back is actually one of your biggest advantages? Hi, I'm Jessica, and you are listening to the Starlit Success Podcast
And today we are talking about the fact that you are not too old to start something new
I believe that everything that you have gained with age might actually make you more prepared for whatever it is that you wanna go after
Hear me out So first of all, what does too old even mean? Like, what are we using to measure it? Like, how do you know when you're too old
Because a birthday just tells us how many years we've been alive
a birthday doesn't tell us anything about our health, our creativity, our ambition
or what we're actually capable of
so one thing I've learned is there's two different ages that are out there, [00:03:00] and the most common one is your chronological age. So that is the age that you are since birth.
And then there's your biological age And I'm not a scientist here, this is just something that I've learned. But your biological age is how your body is aging physiologically using, like, biomarkers. So two people could be the exact same chronological age and be completely different biological ages.
So I'm 43. If I were compared to another 43-year-old biologically, maybe I would be 32, and maybe they would be 52. At least that's what I tell myself anyway
So what age are we even looking at when we say we're too old?
So if you're like 50-something and you're saying that you're too old to pursue your dream, you're not making a biological statement
You're just expressing your belief about what's possible
And I feel like when we decide that it's already too late, that we're already too old to do something, we just settle for safety
And then we just live in our comfort zone and we don't push our limits and we don't try anything new and exciting
And the [00:04:00] crazy thing is a lot of the times our comfort zone, the thing that we think that we're comfortable in, isn't even that comfortable. It's just familiar. And your brain is going to prefer predictability because it doesn't want to use any more energy than it has to. Its whole job is to conserve energy.
So if something is familiar and uncomfortable, oftentimes you're gonna choose that than trying something that is super exciting but a little scary
And I feel like when you look at it this way, you're gonna miss opportunities because instead of checking to see, you're just walking right by the door of possibility instead of just cracking it open to see what's inside
And I also believe, like, if you have a desire to do something, if you feel a calling, if it is on your heart, then you are meant to do it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have that feeling. Everybody gets these different feelings. I'm sure my husband doesn't have a feeling that he needs to start a podcast. I don't have a feeling that I'm supposed to create music.
We each have [00:05:00] different passions, different things that speak to us, and I feel like when that's in you, then that is your duty to act on it, no matter how old you are
I believe that that is your higher power, that is God, that is source energy, whatever you want to call it. that is your soul speaking to you. And how dare you not listen to your soul?
But the saddest part is not even you missing out it's what other people would miss out by you not following that calling that you feel
And I think the part that we completely overlook is that we're so focused on all of the things that we think that we've lost with age that we're not even paying attention to all of the things that we've gained
Have you ever considered that being older actually gives you an advantage?
Most of the time when you're older, you've been on this earth longer. Not saying all the time, but sometimes you are a little bit more financially secure, so maybe you [00:06:00] can take a little bit more risk. in our situation, we were able to take the risk of relocating across the country and risk Eddie not working for two months.
Not only did we have the expenses of the move itself, but we had the expense of not getting a paycheck from his source of employment for two months ? Could we have done this, you know, 20 years ago? Probably not
And not only most of the time are you more financially secure with age, but age brings wisdom. You have learned so many things in your life by the time you're in your 40s than you would have in your 20s. I'm not saying that 40-somethings are, are smarter than 20-somethings. You've just been on this earth longer.
You've just seen more. You've done more. You've been around more people. You've been in more environments
You experience more relationships
And a lot of the times, because of all of these experiences that you have, most of the time you have a lot more confidence. You know your worth. You understand what your strengths are, what your [00:07:00] superpowers are, maybe things that you're a little bit better at than other people
I had no clue what these were for me, even just 10 years ago. No clue. I had to be in so many different, work environments and experience a lot of different relationships not romantic relationships, just relationships, for me to understand that, holy shit, I actually am a really good communicator.
I really understand people. I am very emotionally intelligent because I had to be around enough people that weren't for me to realize that that was actually a skill that I had. 10 years ago, I just thought everybody thought the way I did. I didn't realize that I was unique in the different skills that I could contribute
And then on top of that, I feel like it's learning all of the things that you don't want. So you've been around, you've been in the workforce a lot longer, you've had more life experience. You have experienced so many things that you don't like, you don't [00:08:00] want, that have made you uncomfortable, that give you the ick, now, you can narrow it down to the all of the things that you do want, that you do wanna pursue, that do light you up, that make you feel good.
A lot of the times you don't have that experience when you're a lot younger. You don't know any better. You don't know what you don't know
When I was in my teens, when I was in my 20s, shit, even into my 30s, I had no idea what I wanted. I tried so many things to try to figure it out. Quit so many things as you've heard my story on a previous episode.
and so because I tried so many things that didn't work out, I ended up just settling for what I thought was normal
And I still didn't know at that time that I was going to want more out of life than being a wife, a mom, and having a career. I didn't even know that at that time
And then when I was in my 30s, when I was more established, when I was married and had two boys and had a stable career, even then I was so busy with maintaining the house [00:09:00] and taking care of my young kids and trying to move up in my career that
And on top of that, like when I was 20-something and 30-something, I would have never had the guts to do something like this, much less like have any idea of what the hell I would even talk about. I had to go through all of these different things for me to, to gain the wisdom and the ideas , and understand like who I was to even know that I had something worth sharing
And at 43, now I'm realizing I got a lot to say
And I don't really feel like I'm some unique exception. I looked into this and I found out that the average age of a career change is 39, which I find hilarious because I was literally 39 when I got that oh shit moment, like what am I doing with my life? I was about three months shy of my 40th birthday And at 39, typically what most people are looking for is more fulfilling work, which that was me, or [00:10:00] better pay.
And you figure by that time, by the time you're 39, you've had roughly 20 years of work experience. So you have a better idea of what you want and what your value is, what you're worth
another thing that I learned is that the average age of starting a new business is between the ages of 40 and 42, which I also find ironic because I was 42 when I decided to start the podcast. Not necessarily saying that it was a business, but it was a new venture for me. It was a new outlet. It was a way to express myself, which I feel like a lot of people's businesses are Did you know most first-time millionaires are between the ages of 45 and 55? So hopefully I'll be there soon. And a 50-year-old, is twice as likely to have massive success than a 30-year-old
I believe it's because by these ages, you've had the time to build skills, to have life experience, to have these smaller opportunities, and maybe fail a few times So maybe all of these years aren't making us late, maybe [00:11:00] they're just making us ready
So my mom is actually an inspiration. She completely started over at the age of 57. So she worked for a public school system for over 30 years. And she realized in that time, once she got to that 30-year mark, like she was not happy. That was not her anymore. She had evolved and she was ready for something new.
So she went from working in a public school system to doing something that she completely loved. She started doing caretaking, not caretaking in a sense where she was taking care of people medically, but being their companion, helping them with grocery shopping, taking them on walks, helping them with gardening, all of the domestic things that she absolutely loved.
And she made a living out of it. And she took a chance on herself at 57.
she experimented with a few things. There were a few things that didn't work out right away, but she finally figured it out
What if you started over at 50, and let's say it takes you five years to figure it [00:12:00] out but in that five years, you would make more money, you would do something more meaningful, you could be more creative, you could be more yourself
Maybe it's just helping people. Maybe it's building a business. Maybe it's just having more freedom
Maybe it's just discovering what you actually enjoy
Would you do it? Would you feel like it was too late? If you were guaranteed success and you started at 50 and it took you five years and you could have all of those things, would you still feel like it was too late? Would that even matter anymore? Would your age even matter?
I'm 43. If someone told me, "You know what, Jess? You're gonna figure this out by the time you're 50. all of the stars are gonna align for you," I'm not gonna feel like it's too late because I feel like I'm investing in my future. So stop treating your age like it's a reason to not get in the game I feel like it's all in our head.
It's all in our head Just give yourself permission to try. Give yourself permission to enjoy the process
I have no idea where this [00:13:00] podcast is gonna go, where it's gonna lead me But I can tell you that it has brought the spark back into my life
I get up and I think about all the ideas that I get to share It's a way for me to express myself. It's a way for me to incorporate fun in every day
And I also feel like I'm contributing to the world in a way that I can't really do with being a wife, a mom, or my career. don't get me wrong, I know I'm impacting their lives, but I wanted to impact more
And I'm also leaving the door open for possibility. I don't know what's gonna happen with this. I have no clue
But it could lead somewhere. And I feel like then when you give yourself permission to try to get in the game You start to live instead of just surviving
You actually start to use your true skills, your true talents
And your, your superpower is to benefit the world, benefit people that you never even thought you could reach
And not only if you're getting [00:14:00] older, if you're trying something new, you're keeping your mind sharp to try new things and to learn new things
rather than just being stuck in the same old routine And then you inspire other people to do the same
What do you even do with this? Use your life experience. What do you love? What do you hate? What really excites you
start with a passion project. Start with something like myself. You know, I started this because I just absolutely loved personal development, and I was obsessed with everything that I was learning and reading books and listening to podcasts. I just felt compelled to share everything that I was learning with everyone that I came in contact with.
And I can't get in contact with as many people as I can through the internet, so that was my next step
But what, what do you love to talk about? What do you love to create? What do you have the most fun doing?
What are you curious about? What do you love to learn?
Focus on what you want to do versus what you think you should do. That got me in trouble a few times. and then be willing to enjoy the process without any [00:15:00] expectation of a reward. So it's gotta be something that you just love to do so much that no matter what comes of it, you just enjoy doing it no matter what
But you have to be willing to experiment. You might try something and it might not be for you, you know? Then you gotta learn how to pivot Be willing to mess up. Be willing to not be perfect
I am certainly still not perfect. I was even less perfect when I started this, but you just have to be willing
Because the only time you fail is if you either don't try or if you quit. And I'm not saying it's not okay to quit. It's okay to quit as long as you don't quit permanently. If you quit something and you try something else, that's completely fine
All right, so we're going to do a little exercise now, and I want you to just picture yourself at 85 So you're 85 and you're looking back at yourself now. So whether you're 35 or 45 or 55 or 65, pretend you're 85 and you're looking back at where you are now So [00:16:00] you've had 20, 30, 40 years to do or try whatever it is that you think you're too old for right now
Do you think at 85 you were too old at 35, 45, 55, 65? Do you regret not trying? What if you could have made those years so much better if you would have just experimented?
Shit, look at your age now. I'm 43. I'm like, damn, if I would've done this 10 years ago, 20 years ago, where would I be now? And I always try to live from that frame of mind. I always put myself in my future and pretend that I'm looking back and be like, " Did I regret not trying? What could have happened?
Would I have at least added some more joy to my life?" Even if nothing ever comes of this podcast, even if it is just me expressing myself, it has still brought so much more joy in my life. Why wouldn't I do it?
So let me know, let me know your thoughts. What is something that you think that you're too old to [00:17:00] try?
send me a DM, drop me a comment. I would love to hear from you. So thank you again for spending your time and energy with me today, and I will see you on the next episode
